Deviation Actions
Literature Text
“Tyler? Wake up, Tyler” said Spike, trying to shake him away. Latias lifts Tyler up, just as he gains consciousness. He moans, holding his head.
“Oh, my head...” moaned Tyler.
“Hey, don't be alarmed but, we got a problem”, Spike said, pointing up. Tyler looks up, and sees where the entrance was supposed to be, and it's no longer there. Only a ceiling remains.
“We're trapped..” said Tyler. Then he gets furious about the old pony betraying him.
“That two faced son-of-a-jackal!”, he growled.
“That pony used us to get what he wants!”, Spike agreed, angry as well. But Tyler sighs deeply, hanging his head low.
“Whoever that pony was, he's long gone with that lamp by now” said Tyler. But Spike smiles, however.
“Or DID he?...” smiled Spike. Then he pulls out the magic lamp from behind his back.
“Surprise!” grinned Spike.
“Why, you scaly little thief!” smiled Tyler, and takes the lamp from him.
“You're welcome. But why did he want it anyways? Doesn't look like it has any value to it”, Spike wondered.
“Yeah, it looks like a worthless piece of junk. Hey, I think there's something written here, but it's hard to make out...”, Tyler said as he examines the lamp, and starts rubbing it. The lamp began to vibrate and glow in an aura. Then fireworks starts flying out from its spout, exploding in the air. Frightened, Spike and Latias take cover behind a rock.
But Tyler hangs on to the lamp. Then all the sudden, smoke comes out from within the lamp, and takes a form of a comical tiger, yelling as he does. He has golden shackles on his wrists, wearing a pair of white pants, and a purple vest with turban. And then....
“AND THE TIGER'S IN THE HOOUUSEEEEEEEE!!!!”, cheered the tiger. Loud fanfare is heard in the cavern. But as Tyler looked around, he couldn't find the source of the sounds.
The mysterious tiger yells as he stretches his back to EXTREME proportions, and a loud POP! was heard. Then he shakes Tyler's hands violently.
“Oh, thank you so much, sir! You have no idea how long I have been in there. Been there any longer, I would got one heck of a wedgie!” said the tiger.
“Uh...”, Tyler said, completely speechless by this.
“Hey Latias! Haven't seen you in a millennia, girl! Give me a high-five!” said the tiger. He and Latias gave each other a high-five. Then the tiger's gut drops, and he notices.
“Boy, I sure put on some weight for a few thousand years!”, he said, trying to adjust his gut. He walks back to Tyler.
“Say, what is your name there, sir?” asked the tiger.
“Well, it's, uh, Ty-Tyler”, Tyler replied.
“Well thank you again!” smiled the tiger. Then he notices something about him.
“Hey, you sure are a lot taller than my last master. What was his name again? Uh, Calvin, was it? He had one heck of a spiky yellow hair...”, he pondered.
“Whoa, wait a minute. I'm...your master?” asked Tyler, confused.
“That's right! He can be taught!” said the tiger, magically slapping a diploma in Tyler's hand and a mortarboard on his head. “What would you wish of me?”.
The tiger transforms into Arnold Schwarzenegger.
“The ever impressive...”.
Then he conjured inside a very small cube with him inside.
“The long-contained...”.
Then he became a ventriloquist with a Calvin dummy, which it has the same yellow spiky hair with a red shirt.
“Often imitated...”.
He tosses the dummy aside, saying “But never....”.
Then he multiplies into duplicate versions of himself, each saying the word “Duplicate”. Then he appears in the middle, a spotlight shining on him.
“Genie..of..the LAMP!” said the tiger, saying it like a ring announcer at a boxing match. Then he transforms into Ed Sullivan, his genies clapping for him.
“Right here, direct from the lamp! Right here for your enjoyment wish fulfillment! Thank youuuuuuu!”.
He poofs back to normal.
“But seriously, I am tired of being called “Genie”. I have a name, ya know! Just call me Hobbes” smiled Hobbes.
“Hold on, wish fulfillment?”, Tyler asked.
“Three wishes to be exact. And no wishing for more wishing!” said Hobbes. He turns into a slot machine, the arm pulls down and three Hobbes appear in the windows.
Then he transforms into b/w (black & white) Groucho Marx.
“No subsitutions, exchanges, or refunds”, he said, and a duck puppet drops with the words “REFUNDS” in its beak.
“I gotta be dreaming about this”, Tyler said to Spike.
“Master, I don't think you realized what you got here! So why don't you just ruminate, whilst I illuminate the possibilities!” smiled Hobbes as he grows big, and lights up like a fluorescent light bulb. Then he goes into a song.
HOBBES
Well Ali Baba had them forty thieves
Sheherazadie had a thousand tales
But master, you in luck, 'cause up your sleeve
You got a brand of magic never fails!
Hobbes produces the Forty Thieves out of his hands that surrounds Tyler. But Hobbes appears in his vest, then sticks his arms out and boxes the thieves into a knockout.
HOBBES
You got some power in your corner now
Some heavy ammunition in your camp
You got some punch, pizzazz, yahoo and how
See all you gotta do is rub that lamp
And I'll say....
A boxing ring appears, with Tyler in the corner, being massaged by Hobbes as Spike holds a towel. Then he turns into pile of fireworks and fires, which Spike ducks from. Then Hobbes appears inside the lamp and grabs Tyler's hand and rubs the lamp with it.
HOBBES
Mister Tyler sir
What will your pleasure be?
Let me take your order, jot it downwards
You ain't never had a friend like me
No, no, no!
Hobbes conjures a table and chairs, then writes down things on a note pad, dressed like a French waiter.
HOBBES
Life is your restaurant
And I'm your maitre'd!
C'mon whisper what it is you want
You ain't never had a friend like me!
Hobbes appear as a plate of chicken, surprising Tyler. But enlarges his ear to listen to Tyler, and splits into four duplicate Hobbes.
HOBBES
Yes sir, we pride ourselves on service
You're the boss, the king, the shah!
Say what you wish, it's yours! True dish
How about a little more Baklava?
The Hobbes duplicates gave Tyler manicure, filed his horns, and did his claws. Then Tyler appears in a large comfy chair surrounded by the treasure, and being fanned by Latias and Spike. Hobbes appears and fills the whole place with baklava.
HOBBES
Try some on column A
Try all of column B
I'm in the mood to help you dude
You ain't never had a friend like me
Tyler rises up on a column of food with a giant A on top. He jumps to another column with a B on top. He falls off and gets caught by a cushion held by Hobbes. He opens his mouth, and his tongue turns into a staircase. A miniature Hobbes dressed in a tuxedo and top hat comes out. The mini Hobbes does a little dance with his two giant hands. At the end, they surround him and squish him into nothing.
HOBBES
Can your friends do this?
Do your friends do that?
Do your friends pull this out of their little hat?
Can your friends go POOF?!
Hobbes pulls off his head, duplicates it, then juggles them. He tosses them to Tyler, who juggles with one hand and spins one of the heads on his tail like a basketball. He tosses the heads back onto Hobbes, who proceeds to try to pull himself out of a hat at his base. He spirals around and around until he turns into Bugs Bunny. Then he turns into the chinese dragon Mushu from “Mulan”. “Mushu” breathes fire, which turns into duplicates of the Wubb Girlz harlem dancers.
HOBBES
Well looky here
Can your friends go Abradabra, let 'er rip!
And then make the sucker disappear.
The Ortiz sister danced around Tyler, shaking their booties and tails. Just as Tyler starts to enjoy this, Hobbes makes them disappear
HOBBES
So don't you sit there slack-jawed, buggy eyed
I'm here to answer all your midday prayers
You got me bona fide, certified
You got a genie for a charge? D'affairs!
I got a powerful urge to help you out
So what you wish I really want to know
You got a wish that's three miles long, no doubt
So all you gotta do is rub like so, and oh!
Hobbes imitates what he is calling Tyler, then turns into a certificate which rolls up and surrounds Tyler. He pulls out a list (written in Arabic) out of Tyler's ear, which he uses to rub his behind like crying off after a shower.
HOBBES
Mister Tyler sir, have a wish of two or three
I'm on the job, you big nabob
You ain't never had a friend, never had a friend
You ain't never had a friend, never had a friend
You ain't never...had a...FRIEND...LIKE...ME!!!!
The dancing Ortiz sisters reappear, and Tyler leans in to kiss one of the Wubb Girlz named Glitter Ortiz. But she turns into Hobbes, surprising Tyler. Hobbes zaps in dancing Freddy Fazbear and Bonnie Rabbit from “Five Nights AT Freddy's” in one direction. To the other direction, he zaps in dancing Chica Chicken and Foxy the Pirate, who are also from “FNAF”. And a grand finale ensues, with Tyler tossed in the air by the characters of “FNAF”, and Spike grabbing as much jewels as he can.
HOBBES
You ain't never had a friend like me!
Hobbes wraps everything up in a cyclone and zaps it away until they're all back in the cave. He has a neon “APPLAUSE” sign next to him. Latias claps in applause. Spike checks his fez for the jewels, but finds it empty.
“Oh man!”, said Spike, a little disappointed.
“So what will it be, master?” smiled Hobbes, waiting for a wish.
“You can grant me any three wishes I want, right? Anything?” asked Tyler.
“Well, almost. There are a few provisos, a couple of quid pro quos” said Hobbes as William F. Buckley.
“Like?”, Tyler said.
“Rule number one: I can't kill anybody at all. Trust me, I tried to kill myself whenever My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic comes on TV. It's an abomination!” said Hobbes. He looks over to whoever is reading this story.
“Ha! Just kidding, readers! In fact, Tyler happens to be a Brony anyways, and I have a crush on the sexy Applejack...” smiled Hobbes at whoever read this story, breaking the fourth wall. He turns back to Tyler.
“But anyways. Rule number two: I can't have someone fall in love with anyone else. Believe me, I learned my lesson the hard way. When I tried that on Romeo and Juliet, it did NOT end well for them” said Hobbes.
“Okay?”, Tyler nodded.
“Rule number three: I cannot raise the dead, nor bring anyone back from it. The undead really freaks me out. But I can raise the ROOF!” smiled Hobbes. Then he dances.
“Go Hobbes! Go Hobbes! It's your birthday! It's your birthday!” sang Hobbes, dancing his booty off. Then he bows to Tyler.
“Other than that, you got it”, Hobbes bowed, waiting for a wish. Tyler looks at Spike, as if he's plotting. Spike smirks back at him, giving him a thumbs up.
“Ah provisos? You mean limitations? On wishes?” smirked Tyler. He laughs as he turns to Spike.
“Some all powerful genie...Can't even bring people back from the dead”.
Then he and Spike gets up.
“I don't know, Spike. He probably can't even get us out of this cave. Looks like we're finding our own way out of here” said Tyler.
They start to leave, but Hobbes's giant foot stomps down in front of them. They look up to see the giant angry Hobbes towering before them.
“Excuse me? Are you lookin' at me? Did you rub my lamp? Did you wake me up? Did you bring me here. And all the sudden, you're walkin' out on me?” said Hobbes. Tyler and Spike winked at each other. Their plan is working. Hobbes stomps towards them, getting madder.
“I don't think so! Not right now! You're getting your wishes, so SIT DOWN!!!!!” yelled Hobbes angrily.
Startled, Tyler and Spike sat down on Latias. Then Hobbes takes a form of a stewardess, with lots of arms pointing out the exits.
“In case of emergency, the exits are here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, anywhere! Keep your hands inside the Latias at all times! Weeeee'rrrrrreee...outta here!!!” said Hobbes as a stewardess. They shot out from the cave, through the sand, and into the nightsky.
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The next morning, back at the palace in Agrabrah, everyone was gathered in the throne room. After everything Lexi told her mother last night, Queen Celestia and Queen Luna were furious about Sombra's order of execution without their knowing. They summoned Sombra to them, along with Lexi, to discuss about what he did last yesterday.
“Sombra, this is an outrage. If it weren't for all your years of loyal service!” said Celestia.
“You have executed an innocent boy without our permission. Yet, he was falsely accused of kidnapping Princess Lexi, when Lexi herself told us the truth. You're lucky we don't throw you into the dungeon, because you have served us well in all these years” said Luna.
“But from now on, you are to discuss sentencing of prisoners with me and my sister before they are beheaded!” said Celestia strictly.
“I assure you, your highnesses, it won't happen again”, Sombra bowed before them.
“Good. Now Lexi, Sombra, let's put all this messy business behind us. Sombra, you have something to say to her?” said Luna. Sombra approaches Lexi and takes her hoof gently.
“My most abject and humblest apologies to you as well, princess” smiled Sombra. He was gonna kiss her hoof until she yanks it away. She turns to him with an angry look.
“At least some good will come out of me once I'm married. When I'm Queen, I will have the power to get rid of you!” said Lexi to Sombra.
“Well, not what I expected from an apology, but it'll do” said Luna.
“Now then, back to this suitor business...” said Celestia to Luna. They turned to Lexi, but they see her already walking out from the room.
“Lexi? Lexi!” said Celestia. She and Luna followed after her, leaving Sombra and Meowth alone. Once they left, Sombra's face turned angry.
“If only I gotten that lamp!” growled Sombra.
“D'oh! To just think we gotta keep kissing up to those royal chumps and Celestia's daughter for the rest of our lives....” growled Meowth.
“No, Meowth. Only until she finds a chump husband. Then she'll have us banished, or worse---Beheaded!” said Sombra. They start thinking about it, when Meowth gets an idea.
“Oh! Wait a minute! Sombra? What if YOU were the chump husband?” said Meowth.
“What?”, Sombra said, looking at him in insult.
“Look, just hear me out. If you marry the princess, then you can become King!” said Meowth. That idea brought a smile to Sombra.
“Ah, marry the princess? I become king? The idea has potential!” smiled Sombra.
“Yeah! Then we can toss the mother and aunt, and the princess, off a cliff!” smiled Meowth evilly.
“Meowth, I love the way your foul little mind works!” grinned Sombra. They began to laugh evilly. A new plan is in motion.
(I Love this scene!)